Reaching out to loved ones during this time is an essential MUST, we are in need of some sanity and just having a quick conversation with your bestie or family is probably the easiest way to reach that normalcy we are all craving.
Dear Loved Ones,
There are a few reasons why people aren't connecting during this 2020 Pandemic (I'm positive we'll be making the history books) but as one of those people who is keeping to herself a little, it really isn't personal. If you're like me, reaching out only comes after a hell of a lot of deliberation and still, it's a hard decision to make. It sometimes gets easier with time but not always. Right now a lot of us are in the same boat, we are in some form of isolation, regardless if you are still working or not, and that takes a toll on you. I live with my partner, he is my best friend and I love spending time with him but lordy, I am desperately excited for the day where I can wake up early, get dressed nicely and go to the office. I mean, what? Do you have any idea who weird it is to be craving that? But right now, it's my normalcy dream, just like I would give anything to be able to wander around Ikea looking at things I'll probably never buy and have a yummy and cheap lunch. It's the weird things of that past that we are all craving. A connection is just another thing we don't really have right now but really want, except somehow this is so much more difficult to ask for.
Everyone is going through a tough time and I think that we almost feel like we're a burden or ungrateful for wanting to talk and connect with others like we haven't suffered enough to be wanting that communication and connection as badly as we want it. Here's the thing though, you're struggles during this pandemic (and every freaking day in your life) as just as valid as someone else's. Breaking free from that voice is hard, especially right now where you may not feel like you have the support that you usually do, but guess what? We ALL want connection, we're just all struggling with the different fears behind why we aren't asking for it. It only takes one person in every group of friends or family to break that mold and say "Hey, let's all video chat today." You might be that one person today or you may be feeling grateful that someone else has broken the silence and voiced what everyone is feeling. Regardless of where you stand, do your part to keep the conversation going. We need each other, especially right now. Someone once said to me "when skies are grey", I've always taken this to mean that if you find someone who will be there even when the clouds roll in and the storms coming and not just when the suns shining and the birds chirping then you've hit the jackpot. Keep those people, for they are magic and in return, be there for them too when skies are grey and when they shine bright.
To our loved ones, we do love you, sometimes we just have difficulty showing it. I hope you've learned to read the signs we give when we can't say it outright. We talk to you because you make us comfortable, you are in our thoughts even when we aren't strong enough to message back. Just hold on, things are grey right now but after every storm, the sun breaks through the clouds. Just hold on loved ones, we're trying.
Just the other day my friends and I had a group video chat on Facebook Messenger. We have a chat going on with my best girlfriends and were trying to find a time and day that worked best for the most people, in the end only three of us we're able to chat but man, was it more than we needed. We'd opened the video just after 5 pm and before we knew it, it was already 7 pm. We talked about anything and everything and if I wasn't ready to eat my computer because I was so hungry, I think we probably would have talked for longer. I barely felt time pass, all that matter was seeing their funny faces and getting to laugh and talk about the stupid mundane things. The next day, I woke up with better spirits and I fully believe that it was because of our chat the night before. It was a small slice of normal, seeing my besties and being weird together, and I cannot wait for the next group chat which hopefully happens again soon.
I try to host a girls night every couple of months, our last one was supposed to be at the beginning of April but I called it off because of the quarantine mayhem and I honestly feel like praying to whatever powers that be for normal to return just so I can hug these girls and cry and laugh while we drunkenly gossip and play Cards Against Humanity. They are more than my best friends, they are my chosen family and I am so thankful that we all took that step to talk and have a video chat. It means everything to me, and I think to them as well. At least I'll pretend it does to feed my wacky five-foot ego.
Keep it simple!
Don't spend three hours trying to find the perfect way to start a conversation. Just text Hey or Hi, it's simple but effective. Before you know it, you're six hours into a convo and have no idea why you were so worried, in the beginning.
Here's a tip: make group chats for friends and family (if you haven't already). This takes the pressure off of having twenty different conversations on the go at the same time, its way too much to handle on a regular basis and most definitely during a time when you're mentally drained. Yes, your friends might be crazy and your family won't stop with the group chain memes that don't really make sense but hey, they are yours, and aren't they making you laugh? Laughter is the best cure for whatever ails you, so post a meme and make those wacky comments, share the laughs and smiles!
So what are YOU waiting for?
Time is never given, we truly have to live our lives to the fullest while we can. I know it's better said than done, but please, don't let your fears or procrastination stop you from communicating and connecting with loved ones. They need us just as much as we need them. VIRTUAL GROUP HUG!!