The meaning of home varies, it's always definitely depending on who and where you are in life.
Ever heard that phrase that home is where the heart is? I don't hear it a lot anymore and I do have at least two theories on why.
Firstly, I just don't think my generation really hears it enough to recognize it. They say stems from so many origins, such as poems as early as the 17th Century or an Elvis Presley song or modern-day proverbs made in the entertainment business. It might be considered a thing of the past but is a timeless and ever-changing adage.
"Your home will always be the place for which you feel the deepest affection, no matter where you are." Proverb
Secondly, in this modern-day, it is just so difficult to know where our hearts are - metaphorically at least. Our lives are based on journeys to which we are never given maps or directions but rather flying by the seat of our pants or gut feelings. By the time we actually know what we're doing or have an understanding of what to do next, life shakes things up again. It's a never-ending ride that leaves us guessing, confused and desperately wanting more. It is completely unnerving and addictive.
So here we are on this wild adventure to find where are home is the place where our hearts feel at peace.
What does one do to find there home? I think I've narrowed it down to steps, by using my life and therefore trips and falls to where I am now.
1. Make friends
There are different levels of friends and anyone who says all friends are your best friends really aren't to be trusted. My favorite friends are from those who I've dubbed Galaxy Friends and Forever Friends.
Galaxy Friends are those you rarely or never see, but when you talk, distance is nothing. Everyone has at least one, or like me several. Due to life and its wonderful changes, people do tend to move away but if they are true Galaxy Friends, that should never be a factor in your friendship. That just means that you talk more or less and when you do have those moments together, it's as if time hasn't passed and you've been together forever. For example, I have one friend whom I love dearly, she's now married with a one-year-old and lives in the states, so far from my big city in Ontario, Canada. We are both adults with lives and so we don't talk every day, but when we do, it is easy and effortless because she's the best girlfriend ever and I know that I am forever grateful to have her in my life, even if it feels like there's a galaxy between us.
Forever Friends, if you haven't already guessed it, are those who are so much more than friends. They are the ones who you probably can't imagine your life without, they are there when you need them the most and vice-versa and no matter what, you love them for all their crappy jokes, weird humor, and amazing personalities. (just to name a few random but fun qualities). My example is those I have met through work. At a health food store, I worked at for roughly four years, I met so many people and several of them are simply so crazy and amazing that I consider them as my family. I hope they know who they are because they truly deserve praise for putting up with me and hopefully choosing me to one of their Forever Friends too. (yes, Galaxy Friends can also be Forever Friends, my aforementioned bestie a galaxy away is one of those Forever people I cherish)
2. Fall a little
I have discovered that the easiest, albeit not pain-free, way of finding where your heart belongs is learning where it doesn't. So fall a little, stumble and make mistakes and learn where you don't belong. It's not the nicest way, and I'm sure there are better ways to figuring things out but I know through my own trials and tribulations, that it is effective.
It's not until you've been down and at your worst that you find the strength and power deep inside you, it fuels you to be better, do better and rise bigger than before. You learn to stop saying yes to other people and start thinking about how you're affected, you finally put yourself first. What is right and worth it is never easy, but once you have it you know it's yours.
I have stumbled a lot in my life, and each time I have learned something valuable and I think that is one of the more powerful ways of life lessons actually sticking with you. I've learned the true meaning of friends and family, as well as how important they are when you need them the most. I've learned that I am stronger than I think, even when I feel weak and unable to carry on, I am enough and those three words are all I need to keep going. I've learned that no matter how much I fall, how much I break or how much I feel unimportant, I am simply my own worst enemy and I must fight harder to overcome those voices because I can stand tall (even though I'm so short) no matter what tries to knock me down. I get back up, I am enough.
3. Find your Heart
So you've made friends who are your chosen family, you've fallen a time or ten but risen stronger than before and now, you're ready to find a home that gives you peace and comfort.
It sounds cliche but I found my home when I wasn't looking for it. I joined Bumble, primarily a dating app but also a way to make friends. I wanted to practice talking with guys because I am awkward and not always social so I figured that was the best way to practice. Turns out, there are a lot of sleazeballs out there, both men and women from what I've learned. So there I am, at my wit's end and fed up with the extreme lack of quality guys to talk to when I give it one final chance with one last conversation. This guy, I'm telling you had nerdy pictures with cameras and his family dog, plus that smile that just drew me in. We talked almost every day for a good month before we had our first date at Starbucks, I was so nervous that I hid in the bathroom when I got there (because I made sure I was there super early) and basically hyperventilated for a while going back and forth between wanting to stay and running as fast as I could. Finally, I shut up the voice telling me to run and got a drink to hold onto in hopes that I would stop shaking and waiting for this guy that I wanted to meet.
He shows up and we hit it off in person as we did via texting, we talked for hours and as they say, the rest is history. We've been together for a little over two years now, celebrating that first meeting as our anniversary and I don't care how sappy it sounds but I found my heart in my boyfriend. He is my partner and best friend in this wacky world, I am forever thankful that he gave me a chance on that app and fell in love with me too. He brings me a peace that I've been searching for, I am happy with him doing nothing or anything because just knowing I'm with him is all I need to be content and at harmony. I have found my home, it's with him, where my heart belongs and had been waiting to come home to.
4. What's next
I haven't really figured out what's next after you've found where you're home is, I'd like to say once this quarantine is over then I'll be closer to figuring it out but I am also just as content to be and let the rest of the pieces fall into place.
I'm excited for all the adventures that will come my way because I have my home and heart with me. I have amazing friends, family and a man who makes me happy I get to spend every day with him. I guess now I'm just along for the ride, waiting to see what this journey called life will throw at me. I can't wait, I know I'll make it.